Portal Turret – $25

portal turret

Fun Facts

Did you know, at some point in their lives 1 in 6 children will be abducted by the Dutch.

With a Turret at your disposal, your children are far less likely to be snatched from their beds by an errant Dutchman.

Did you also know  that Roman toothpaste was made with human urine. Urine as an ingredient of toothpaste used up until the 18th century.

The Turret may not be used as a toothpaste of any sort, but it can be urinated on with a minimum of hassle.

Edmund Hillary, the first person to climb Mount Everest, did so accidentally while chasing a bird

If Sir Hillary had a Turret at his disposal, the bird would have been eradicated long before it ever reached the top of the mountain, and Mount Everest would today still be known by it’s native name of Lake Mountamounta. (There aren’t any lakes in Nepal, so they didn’t realize how ridiculous that was).

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